All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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