Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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