I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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