I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
