my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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