you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
