Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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