just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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