speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
