Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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