you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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