I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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