I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the condom got lost in my hair
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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