My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
