You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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