dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
