It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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