i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
