i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
