Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
