just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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