So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
