Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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