i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize