So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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