i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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