You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it glows. i had to have it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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