...so i touched it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
