My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
3pm strippers are depressing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
