i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
