thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
