fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
