Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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