I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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