btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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