I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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