As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
3 2 1 whiskey
Bring me that man meat
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
