no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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