Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize