I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
