Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
