She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize