That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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