Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
