I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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