Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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