Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize