He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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