Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
