My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
