he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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