so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
