Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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