Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
sick fucks of a feather flock together
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
