If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
