I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
